12 Days

I have a very good friend whose cancer has just returned. My brother just served as pallbearer to his best friend who died from cancer - 49 years old. My mother is trapped inside Alzheimer's or has a severe cognitive impairment similar to Multiple Sclerosis. She is also recovering from a hip fracture. "There's a high mortality rate with hip fractures," the doctors tell me. Death is all around us.

There's no guarantee that any of us will be here in 12 days. There is a guarantee - not 100% - but a pretty good guarantee that Christopher Scott Emmett won't be. What do you do when you have a death sentence? What do you think about? Do you make your peace with God or curse Him? Do you wonder what it will be like - dying that is.

Talk to professional actors and they tell you they spend weeks, months even years "getting into character" for a big part. They want to understand the person they're playing. I probably spend far too much time doing the same thing. I want to look into the eyes, to research the background, to understand. I don't like so much to write as an observer on some stories - but more from the inside. It's what I do.

I don't want to write:

Christopher Scott Emmett was executed at 12:01 am as protestors from various anti-death penalty groups stood outside with candles in their hands. Emmett ....

I do want to look into his eyes and write about his passing and even his life in such a way that the reader must gaze into Emmett's eyes along with me. Maybe, hopefully, by the time they get past the lead, whatever it turns out to be, they will catch a glance of Emmett's eyes. By the third or fourth paragraph - if they get that far - since many readers don't - they'll be locked eye to eye with Emmett.

It's up to me to lock eyes with him first though.